I was having a conversation today with a client who  was so proud of her efforts of navigating the dreaded office potluck.

Yes, I said dreaded. For some people the office lunch or potluck is one of the things they look forward to the most at work. For others, it is pure torture.

Now I can’t tell you how this idea came to be, but the reason it is done (for people who have never worked in an office setting) is to create team bonding and show appreciation for the staff. But what if for some of the staff this creates enormous amounts of pressure and anxiety?

For people on their health journey this can be an incredibly stressful time for them. A time that is meant to bring camaraderie is overshadowed by the fear of not having the willpower to make the best choices available to them.

You might be thinking, well I’m not on a health journey and it shouldn’t affect me what they put in their mouth so bring on the slow cookers full of pulled pork, hash brown casseroles and muffin tins with delightfully iced cupcakes. You’re right, it isn’t your problem. BUT if your coworker came to you and told you how they had recently been diagnosed with diabetes and was told they need to make a change or they could die, would that make you care? If your office-mate confided in you that each time a workplace luncheon was held they got extreme anxiety over it, would that make a difference?

I worked in offices for many years before my entrepreneurial days and I have seen employers who want to show their employees how much their appreciate them by treating them to lunches, birthday cake on everyone’s birthdays, and showered them in chocolates and treats on special holidays. For some this is their love language and the best way they know how to express how they care about the people in their life. For others, they just don’t know any other way to show their gratitude, after all everyone has to eat right?

You might think “Girl, have some self control!” but at the time I didn’t have the knowledge and support to know any different. What was the harm in a treat here and there.. and there and there? And even if I did, guess what? People only have so much willpower! Environment is everything. Imagine having to sit in a room filled with your most favorite of all foods day in and day out. Your willpower might last a while but how long would it take before you finally gave in to that delicious treat? I don’t care how much self-control someone has, eventually it wears on you and you give in. And if this doesn’t sound like you then I applaud you – I really do! That is an incredible feat that most people can’t conquer on their own.

In a perfect world we’d respect everyone’s boundaries when it comes to this area. You probably think I’m an asshole suggesting they stop showering everyone with food at work. Well.. I kinda am? What if instead of cakes and lunches an employer gave their employees a small gift card each year so they could choose what they wanted to spend it on? Some might treat themselves to a delicious meal, others might put it towards.. literally anything else. You don’t have to agree with me on the subject but I sympathize with people having to navigate the pressure of food in the workplace environment, it can dictate the success or failure of their journey that day, which can also lead to a spiral effect. Didn’t think that one meal/treat/gift that made you feel good about yourself was THAT big of a deal? Well it is.

You know that whole “you don’t bring a sandwich to a buffet saying” (I 100% know that that was meant to apply to things like bringing a date to a wedding or something like that 😂) but what if we made that the norm and supported people who are trying to navigate different food choices? Instead, a lot of the time I see peer pressure and diet shaming from others. If one more person asks me if I’m “allowed” to have something or makes some asinine comment about “Oh ya, you’re on a diet” I might scream. I am not on a diet, a diet is by definition the kinds of food a person habitually eats and what they are attempting to refer to is me being in a calorie deficit (I am also not in one of those right now either FYI). But I do fuel and nourish myself properly and make the best choices available to me if that is what you were trying to shame me for.

And yes I am aware that I am a follower of the flexible dieting lifestyle and that any food being served should be something that people can work into their nutrition goals, but it doesn’t always work that way either. Especially when people have been battling an ‘all or nothing’ mindset for years.

I guess if there’s anything that you get from this, at the very least please just let it be – if you are trying to get rid of food in your house because you don’t want to it eat or can’t eat any more of it, don’t make the break room your dumpster for it. I know you’re not forcing others to eat it but be respectfully of whatever place they are at with food and maybe just ask to see if anyone wants it before assuming. Instead of organizing that next potluck maybe see if your coworkers are interested in trying something different? The last office I worked at had started organizing team bonding in the form of volunteering somewhere together every once in a while and let me tell you how invigorating that can be! This might be hard for some people to hear, you might be mad at me for saying it but trust me, there are a lot more people out there who will be thankful I did ❤️

– Ash

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